Before we can send you a postcard, we need to know a bit more about what you're like: what you find interesting, what you hate, what sort of hats you approve of, that kind of thing. Please answer the six questions below, and we'll be able to calculate the best story for you.

The best type of headwear is:

A bowler hat
A crown
A flat cap
A pair of earmuffs

I would rather spend tonight:

At the cinema
Cooking something nice at home
Going for a bike ride
Digging for treasure at low tide

If I had to move Wandsworth, I would put it near:

Kew Gardens
The Brighton Pavilion
Outer space

My favourite bird is a:


If a king turned up for afternoon tea, I would:

Serve some of the cake I always keep handy
Run to the shops to fetch milk and biscuits
Turn him away
Invite his footman for tea instead

I would rather travel:

In a car
On a horse
In a zeppelin
On a flying carpet